How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace
Welcome Schmooze participant! Thanks for attending my Mini Masterclass.
Want my slides? You can find them here.
Starting conversations is a superpower that can dramatically boost your career and/or your business. And it’s even more important than that: In our divided, polarized society, learning to talk to strangers is one of the few things we can do to make the world a happier and better place.
Three strategies:
- Play the odds. The need for connection is hard-wired into the human brain. Therefore, I absolutely guarantee that if you start conversations with strangers, the majority will respond positively, even if there are occasional ones who don’t.
- Choose wisely. Someone standing stiffly next to the snack table is probably feeling awkward and may be grateful if you start talking to them. Tune in. Check their feet!
- Make it about them! You’ll impress them a lot more by learning about them than you will by teaching them about you. After all, most of us are more interested in ourselves than we are in others. Use the magic words: “Tell me more.”
Four conversation starters:
- Give them a compliment. Flattery is more powerful than you might think.
- Reference a shared experience. Because we’re all in this together.
- Be a Scout. Being courteous, kind, and–especially–helpful is a quick way to create a bond.
- Use the Ben Franklin effect. Ask for a favor. You can create cognitive dissonance that will almost force them to like you.
Additional Resources
Here are some additional resources:
- 11 Foolproof Ways to Start a Conversation With Absolutely Anyone Some overall tips on how to get a conversation started.
- 13 Conversation Starters to Get You Talking With Someone You Admire Feeling tongue-tied? Here are some conversation starters to help you get over that.
- 4 Savvy Ways to Get Out of a Never-Ending Conversation Once you’ve gotten a conversation started, how do you get it to stop? This two-minute video I did with Inc. answers that question. (Research shows most people want conversations to end sooner than they do.)
- Talking With Strangers Is Scientifically Proven to Make You Happy I just love this research that shows how conversing with strangers actually makes us happier, even when we think it won’t. One more reason to give it a try.
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Career Self-Care from New World Library has a whole section on how relationships can help you build a career. Buy the book here, or download the first chapter to read or share here.
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